… and then Mama went Ballistic.

Do you have, or have you ever had, a 3-year-old?  Did they follow you around all day asking pointless questions and refusing to take any answer, regardless of the actual answer, or the consistency (or not) of the answer, as the actual answer-answer, for more than say, ten seconds?

There are times when I think I may seriously blow a gasket.

Today, for instance.  I think the Moose had it in for my sanity today.

“Can I play on the ‘puter, Mommy?  My turn to play on the ‘puter?”

No.  No computer time until Later, when Daddy comes home and the chores are done and your older siblings have finished their homeschooling because if the computer is even ON and not on the black energy-saver screen they can’t FOCUS.

“Mommy!  I play on the ‘puter?  Peeeese, Mommy?  ‘Puter??”

No.   Maybe later!  But right now, NO.

“Moooommmy!  I went pee an’poo in toi-let!”  [He really does say it that way.  And Daddy gives him computer time for Deeds Done on the Throne.]  “I get ‘puter time now!”

NO.  Go AWAY and do not ASK AGAIN.

“WAAAAAAAH!! -! – !!”

That tears it.  Go to your room and stay there until you’re all done crying.

[Immediately cheers up.]  “And then I get ‘puter time!”

NO.

[sulks, stomps, pulls as mad a frowny face as he can screw his features into, and gets sent off to his room where we soon hear]:

“We all live in a yewwow submawine.  Yewwow submawine!  Yewwow submawine…”

I dare you to try and pronounce it that way without drooling.  It’s impossible after the first verse.  Some days I hate Raffi.

“MOMMY!!  Mommy-mommy-MOMMY!  I di’nt get my ‘puter time for goin’ pee’n’poo in the toi-let!  I get play on ‘puter!”

GAAAAAAH!  No, NO, NO-NO-NO!  Take it up with Daddy when he comes home!

I swear, if I weren’t so addicted to the machine myself, I’d box it up and hide it till he’s at least 9.

See, this explains why I have a dumb phone.  My non-smartphone does two things:  make calls and send texts.  That’s IT.  No games.  No internet.  No music.  No video.  No BLING.

The result?  I can FIND it.  Because, according to the kids, it’s NO FUN.

Sadly, it is nearly impossible to make the computer Not Fun.  It’s either the computer isn’t fun (because it would be nonexistent), or Math (we use Teaching Textbooks) isn’t fun, and quite frankly, when we did workbooks, having Math be Not Fun was going to turn my hair gray.  In the great scheme of things, having the kids beg to do math (because it’s on the computer) is a Good Thing.  Unfortunately, it now means that –

“Mom!”

…the computer

“I wanna play on the ‘puter!!!”

…is now the mecca of all that is Fun and Good and Fanatically Irresistible past the point of Obsession to Toddlerhood in my house.  And Big-Kid-Hood too, for that matter.  Some days we can’t get Daddy off, either…

“Mommy!”

Now what??

“I HUN-GRY!”

You JUST ATE!!!

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About dep31

I am a farm-raised homeschooling mom. I take great joy in making nutritious food that inspires people to take seconds. Thirds, anyone? We are a God-fearing, Christ worshiping family that enjoys good friends and good eats. If the kitchen is clean and the living room carpet is visible, then that's a nice bonus.
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4 Responses to … and then Mama went Ballistic.

  1. Elizabeth says:

    I too have a dumb phone. Sometimes I feel like the last holdout. But some people are constantly on their phones (ahem, certain family members of mine), and that bothers me a lot. Like when they’re visiting and we’re playing cards or something, between turns they are on their phones.

    Yesterday David asked if he could use the computer to play a game. I said not right now, but after we get back from the Y. Apparently this was not the right answer. This occurred while we were walking home from dropping the older two off at school. I was pushing him in the stroller. He was holding a toy or something and threw it into somebody’s yard. I kept walking. Then he got upset that I wouldn’t go back and get his toy that he threw. I said he shouldn’t have thrown his toy if he wanted it. Then he tried grabbing my hands on the stroller and digging into them to hurt me because he was upset. So I told him he could walk home. (We were at the park at that point.) I took him out of the stroller and kept walking. He didn’t walk. So I went home and picked some berries in my yard, where I could see him over there at the park. Eventually after a while he decided to walk home. I felt good about the way I handled the whole thing.

    • dep31 says:

      That reminds me of the time I told Rosebud to get ready; we were headed out. She dawdled and wouldn’t get her shoes on, so I loaded everyone else into the van and took off. Parked at the top of the cul-de-sac where I could still see the house (this was when we lived in town), rolled down the windows and turned off the engine, and enjoyed the show. It took her about ten minutes, but when she figured out that the van wasn’t in the garage, and we weren’t in the house, she freaked out! Ran all over, screaming and crying… when she reached the point of getting ready to try to run down the street to see if we were Really Truly gone, I went back and picked her up.

      Hasn’t been a problem since! Too funny…

  2. Sherry says:

    It was like reading a day in the life of: me. So glad I’m not the only one…

    • dep31 says:

      I think they call it “life in the trenches” because I don’t have time to clean ALL the toys up some days, so I make these deep trails instead…

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