There are all kinds of places that an expectant mommy can go to get lovely, sentimental pictures taken of their gravid bellies. These pictures are usually shot with moody lighting and beautiful textures.
The resulting works of art are framed or put in scrapbooks, cherished for years as tangible evidence of a mother’s tender love for her soon-to-be-born baby.
Then there’s my approach to such stuff.
Someone really ought to stop me.
Having been “under construction” for the past 36 weeks, This Project is Nearing Completion and will soon be available for Public Inspection.
Some of my crazier ideas come about when some other demented soul with access to unusual resources has the misfortune of crossing my path, and getting sucked into the Insanity Vortex.
… if only there had been a “Turtle Crossing” sign in that unguarded sign depot! That would have been about my speed…
Please watch for slow traffic, pass on the left, and allow extra margin in passing wide loads marked with reflective cautionary tape.
Attention: You may have noticed that your accomodations have become somewhat constricted of late. Your growth in recent weeks has reached the capacity for your current apartment. If not restricted, it will exceed the recommended capacity in very short order. In addition, your inconsiderate shoving and late night partying have become intolerable to the Management.
You are hereby informed of your impending eviction in less than a week. There is no appeal. Please note that you are not allowed to take any of the furniture you’ve been busily rearranging with you.
Go kick your siblings and Daddy for a change.
Baby, you are OUTTA here!